My 2018 Retrospective
When I look back to my past year, I can say that it was a year that I made my most radical decisions in my life. Like what we do to improve how we work, I wanted to do a retrospective for my last…
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Kill the monkey mind
Inhale.
Fresh air rushing through the nostrils and flooding the system of oxygen.
The first thought breaks down suddenly, like an explicable thunder. The brain blinking, already in alarm mode, flashing questions with no right answers:
“Am I doing the right thing?”
What if I would make things differently?
Am I wasting my time?
What’s the meaning of what I’m doing?
I need to hurry back to work!
Why I’m having this life?
Is it even real?
Exhale.
Oxygen is burning in your lungs while you aim for more, craving precious fresh air for your system.
The mind is getting cloudy, questions and thought are piling up without control.
Focus on your breath!
Focus on yourself!
You keep repeating this mantra, trying to get back control of yourself. But is hard to keep together wild thoughts in full stampede, now running wild in the prairies of your mind.
“Does she loves me?”
“Why I’m such an asshole?”
“I should have told my boss he was wrong since the beginning”
“I need a vacation”
“I wish things could have worked out better”
Inhale.
-Anxiety- this is how they called it.
Your weighting this word, trying to grasp the real meaning behind. What the heck is that, anyway? You never had anxiety. Actually, you never had anything, you’ve always been a perfect, healthy man throughout all these years. Anxiety was something “other” people would have, not you.
But you already know that you’re fooling yourself. You remember vividly when you were panicking before a test, during high-school. You remember your hands shaking and your front sweating during your first date. You know that. But you never faced it. You never admitted.
And now is hitting hard.
Exhale.
Your mind is getting used to this rhythm. The dense fog in your mind getting lighter as the air escape from your lungs
You know what? I think that not all life is sh*t, after all, if you give time to slow down and appreciate it.
Is still sh*t, but not so bad anyway.
Inhale.
Another maverick of clear air burst in.
And together with it a new sense of clearness. The rainy clouds in your mind are fading, to let room for the sunny light.
New ideas replace the previous ones and you feel refreshed.
Exhale.
Let go of air. Let go of your thoughts.
Is an exhilarating feeling when you’re clearing everything out.
Your mind is empty, ready to get filled with new air, new oxygen, new ideas.
Inhale.
Iterate and repeat. Until you’ve totally brushed off your mind.
Looping like a moebius strip.
No pun intended.
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